Exercise Woes

This. Is. Bullshit.

No, don't need you excusing me for cussing.  I am simply irritated with my training regime, or moreover with my habit of sticking it into the impossibly late hours and my  consequent  tiredness across the day.

Even if the January had begun fantastically -  I got a job interview and  I am slotted to do a probation period starting Monday,  my mind is all kind of wracked up with worries and 'what-if'  bad scenarios.  I am overthinking it as it is -  I am just a trainee, for a God's sake, but I am worrying as if I were dropped into a hot water of being CEO of a sinking ship, so to speak.  Friday this week I returned home all kid of burned out  from the subsequent work-meeting  where I received the details of the work, and  I crash-landed straight onto bed -  no wonder,  regarding I was up to some 1 in the morning with worries and my late-night reading.

Getting up at 7,  going at 8, meeting at 9,  then waiting to 11.30 for the drive back and  finally getting home at some 13.30. Thankfully,  sleep restored some of my energy, but later in the evening, I was beset by a monster of a headache that haunted me through the workout.   It faded about  midnight, was up to half past midnight,  and then went snoozing.

Next morning, I was good,   but I noticed I began losing my energy in the early afternoon again. Maybe  becasue I got into the sweets binge before the lunch - I felt bad, so I kinda  thought something sweet would pick me up,  massacred a handful of homemade biscuits and then had pasta with bean and onion salad with a chili spiced dip. And  my  freaking feelings got into a nosedive again.

I know I am worrying too much.  I am worrying about worrying about worrying, in fact, and that  got me into a binge eating today. I practically dragged myself through my portion of exercising -  yes, both of the parts -  but  I did it.   Sometimes I thought why the fuck I am even going through it, when it kinda doesn't show visibly yet. A waste of my time  of  just my self image  as a forever  chubby kid? /rubs the bridge of nose, irritated/

I don't know.  I don't know how I will be juggling my responsibilities as a probie, as a part of the family and how  I would manage the me time, both the exercising and writing, and don't get me even started on a social life! /frazzled/

I started the exercise regime because  I  knew  that  being in batter body shape will also  help me with the shape of my mind -  clearer and better thinking,  having more energy,  etc,  which is practically required for work, 8 hours per day.  Exercising part goes well -  well,  Tibetan exercises are sometimes a murder on my body,   HHA  is a little bit dull now when I got into the rhythm, and  I somehow  both detest and like them -  detest them because  I don't accept excuse to skip them, and like them,  because they   do my body good, even if  visibility is not -  well, visible yet. I am my own  referee on that one,  and  at this point, I am sometimes tempted to throw the towel into the ring, so to speak, and only my freaking pledge is holding me back from it.

Right.  No excuses now, gonna go write the rest of those snippets before hitting the snooze.

Oww owww owwww...

My freaking ribs hurt!

When I got into that  kind of commitment, I didn't  expect that my ribs would be the ones to pay the price, so to speak.

Behind me,   I have  two days of  exercise I self-prescribed to myself. And  what do you know,  it works.  Somehow -  just not in the sense  I imagined it would -  well,  this last one is a lie, I knew perfectly well what I was heading myself into  when I  chose those two, but  still, no amount of knowledge  prepares you for the pain that follows.

I began with Hip Hop Abs, and I am in a reasonably good shape.  So  the next morning, when I began with Tibetan exercises,   I was unpleasantly surprised that my core muscles outright rebelled  when I was holding the 'candle' position.   Urgh.

So today, I was understandably apprehensive,  if the core would rebel again -  I  did get my body through HHA last evening, but to my surprise, this time the  pain culprit wasn't the core, but the ribs -  or, if you are die-hard Latin geek, serratus anterior and latissimus dorsi.  Those two are uncomfortably sore, but on the other  side, my posture is  a little bit  better.

I have to admit, I dread the evening this  time, because it will be Ab Sculpt part of the  HHA,  and I know for a fact  my stomach muscles will be crying for mercy  -  if not  today, then tomorrow. Well, I will have to deal with it when it comes, so no point in dithering. 

Banzai!

Windows 7 uploading shenanigans

More or less of a footnote from the last year regarding Win7 and  the  installation process

So, it was the time  that my hard disk in the laptop was almost full again, and what do you know,  the freaking thing  was bloated despite me moving the files to my outer disk.   I have to admit, JARVIS as I named the 1TB  Western Digital disk, was one of the best investments from the last year, becasue otherwise, I would be one very sorry writer right now.

We writers, by definitions, are pack rats,   so my disk was chock-full of the text,  pictures and whatnot, and in a dire need of good old reformatting and reuploading.

Thing is, I haven't had a clue on how to do the  freaking thing, as up until now,  the go-to person for this was my  brother. Sad, sad world.  And I considered myself  tech-savvy.  /ashamed shake of head./

So, I've done  several things.

1 -  Did the  list of programs I used  on the soon-to-be croaked-OS and saved it on my outer disk Jarvis -  from here on, called J -

2 - Did the backup of the licenses used.  Believe me, this is dead useful to have, otherwise you are stuck in a deep, deep shit and  the entire  installation/uploading shtick can take  two or three days

3 - Did the same  for the wireless data. I am impressed,  the  Microsoft techies  saved me a plethora of a headache and brother-begging with that  particular feature.

4 - Rooted around my CD and DVD's  for the installation disk

5 - Read and  wrote/copied the instructions on how to do the entire thing.

The result?

OS (operation system, aka Windows 7)  done and spiffed up in the same day, with no  help from brother dearest, aside from his nagging for me  to take the furball on a walk. I swear, I could've strangled the  bastard for that idiocy of his.   I  dislike being interrupted when I work, and  he  did just that.

Windows 7 was successfully installed -   there was some trouble with booting the entire thing I I experienced the moment of enlightenment  when the program practically pointed out that MB is less than GB -  fuck it, I never paid enough attention to those prefixes when in Physics class, but never mind, I got by without knowing that.  Formatted both plates,  and then,  ran the whole thing. 

I use around 11 programs, and  the list helped me to keep on track what I need, so the  uploading of the programs went fast from here on. I still remember the horror days when   I and my brother had to get 2 whole days  to  get  the  now prehistoric XP working on the  main computer.  I am so grateful for the SSD disk and  the better  uploading routines that it's not even funny.

But the  disk in question nearly ganked me into an early grave with  the  amount of space it  gobbled up. Usually,  that wouldn't have been a problem, but  SSD is still relatively small in comparison with their  older brothers, so the space is  real  problem   if you  have  heap-loads of data.  It doesn't help that  the computer  has to be updated, and updates  for Windows and Office can really  gobble up the space.

I solved that with wiping out the personal data on the computer,  and  leaving on the SSD only the OS and some  bits and ends that  I don't  need  at all times.  So  right now,   the programs take  a little bit more than 33 GB, with  additional compressing of the files already on.  This leaves 25,2 GB  of freedom for the  next... say,  two or three years.  Depends on the tech.

Tip:

It's good to have   two things when you are doing that.  Or better,  two programs.  One of those is Driver Booster.    This little program,  especially pro edition, is dead useful when it comes to updating the host of the other programs on the OS. I am not  a fan of manual updating of the things  as they can take a good  amount of time that could be spent -  at least for me -  reading - so when I found this one, it was a godsend.


Second one is TreeSize  Free.  It  shows  where  your system  got too fat, so to speak, and then you can go to the why's and how's on slimming those files down.  But   do be careful with that  process, so that you don't do any oopsies with deleting something vitally important to the system. So double and triple checking is more than advisable in this case.


... that  brother of mine  just said I remind him of a popcorn.   Heat it enough, and it explodes.  Gee, what a charmer.... /deadpans/   Popcorn, of all things....

stickK To It - 1st New Years Resolution

Alright, enough is enough.

Today, I  weighed myself and to my horrified fascination, my  weight had upended from all those  holiday puddings, biscuits and whatnot.  In fact,  both me and my  mum were appaled with our weight, and of course, she wanted a regime.

As for myself, I  made a plan, both  in paperback and electronic format, and  I intend to stickK to it.   Pun intended? You betcha.

To  put it bluntly, I  am overweight.  Didn't help that I underwent another operation -  this time  for chest -  and my exercise regimen  at the time was rudely interrupted and later on, I've  had many  laziness to excuse me from  getting down and  dirty, so to speak.

But this year, I intend to  change that for the better.   My plan, in short is -

 -  change eating habits,  so less sweets and cereal-based foods, more veggies and fishies along with meat in,

 - more water and unsweetened  drinks -  I am drinking way  too little for my comfort

 - exercise daily,  so my resolution is sticking to Hip Hop Abs, and  finally  finishing the  dratted program in one go. Last time, I stopped at the  third week, this time, I wanna  end it.  Amen.

 -  and exercise some more, whether  by walking  furball, doing the work around the house or anything else.

So I found the platform on the 'net,  basically that gives you support base, while  holding you up to your goal.  If you are sticking to it,  then one of the  things that can make you better, is stickK, because  there can be monetary  punishments if you fail the  project -  the thing is, monetary punishments you yourself piled  by the way on laziness.   I am doing this without the money added in, but I do have a money punishment  set on myself -  for each abandoned session,  there goes 5 euros.  It doesn't seem much, but for me, it's a good incentive to get off of my butt and get movin' like my life depends on it. My  moneybag certainly does!

This is my year long project, and hopefully  when the year turns around, I will be healthier, fitter and overall have more energy.

My worry is how in the freaking hell I will get all I intend to do in 24 hours I have allotted in the day, but as said, procrastination will have to go, one way or another. I intend to add the resolutions one after another, so I will have time to get to everything  I  deem important at the time.

On the writing side -  I  ceased waiting on beta. Yes, it rankles me something fierce that  she  hadn't sent me the corrected doc back when I requested, but  it can't be helped.  On the other side, another beta in waiting, but I am skeptical of that one, because  their review was not spelling-correct, though  their grammar  and spelling in their own works was good. I will have to inquire on why's that. As it is, Among The Hawks And Doves is one, I still have to  edit it for AO3, along with  uploading last three chapters for Who We Are on the same site. Hopefully  they  solved the trouble with separators.

I will have to get out the replacement keyboard for the longer typing  as that  darned key  I chipped off is  chipped off and if I press on the key the wrong way, it's chipped off again! I would glue it back with the hot glue, but  I worry what would happen to electronics then. So,   replacement keyboard.  I am peeved as the keyboard clicks a lot,  so I will have to see what I can do  in regards to that,  but otherwise... well, don't forget the batteries /wry/. 

It seem this will be the motto of this year...

Another Day Another Year

One year has passed since I've  updated this little blog of mine.   Now,  we are   nearing the end of the first day  in year 2016,  so I thought it prudent to write out  the happenings and reasons for my  longer than normal absence from blogging.

Year 2015 was  in some ways  a hard year -  from me  going under the scalpel once again,  to  mum and father losing their brothers  and  near family to  death.   Miya had grown up some, if you care to remember the doggy  furball I was  ranting about some posts back -  she successfully  passed the second obedience exam  along with both first and second sniffling exam. Mum even participated with her in a national sniffling competition!

As for me, I don't know  whether I've  grown some.  The last year was taxing on my patience what with me having to listen to  brother's "poor Miya" laments while being pissed off that he didn't  keep his promise to  take her out on the walk  at weekends.  I  sometimes  still hold a grudge  for that one. 

I still haven't gotten a job, but  I think I've improved in writing the job applications, along with making a good leap in  going to job fairs.  They are exhausting and disheartening, but  every time I learn something new.   I learned to stand up for myself when talking about what I want  to do  for a job,  so  I have now  defined wants and lines  to where I want to go,  I will have to brush up my skills for my trial working period soon -  I just hope  it will  go well with the skill set I have.  I am a little bit nervous about it, but  let's hope it will go  smoothly.

On writing front, this is the first  year since  acquiring the contract job for  being freelance writer for some  internet page.  It's slow going,  but   at least I can express my thoughts there, though it irks me that  I still haven't got enough traffic to be  considered for  payment.

Fanfiction writing,   I've posted  at least three works -  updated Reach For The Sky,  along with  finishing  Scrapbook Jewels - even if I still get the ideas, I've  closed this particular compendium down,   to  help me concentrate  on advancing and consequently  finishing the already existing  works, like  Among The Hawks And Doves, Fire And Ice and  Crimson Sagittarius.

Last updated works aside  Reach For The Sky was Stray Notes - QUARTET NIGHT. I've explored that fandom quite thoroughly what with me watching and re-watching the episodes and I really couldn't help myself but be amused with QN's jealously issues,  so  this  four-part fic came into being, and later on gifted to Zara who was the reason for me to even getting into writing in this particular fandom.

The largest piece of writing   this year, aside from some of  my  more technically minded projects, was  Who We Are,  a Fate Zero/HP crossover.   I believe I've munched on this one  for  a year,  both because of the difficulty of characters and  story-wise, I  had to  make  biggest number of scene rewrites up until now.  There went a perfectly good notebook /mournful/.   I  am grateful  I got an excellent beta, Luna13 who helped me to  edit this monstrosity both on the French and English side. I hope  the  following year will be fortuitous to her.

Among The Hawks And Doves  is already written and (presumably?) in beta-reading I am concerned, because my new beta  haven't replied back to me yet.   MHB is not on the radar anymore,   for at least a year already, so I've sought out another one. mist_el is  similarly  preoccupied, which worries me,  because she already  passed the  deadline twice - I've sent her the document after Christmas, and I expected to get in back  in 4 days tops.  No such luck, so  I am self-beta-ing again,  which is pissing me off,   because it delays the posting the chapters.   it doesn't help the  chapter in  question is 10k long and the theme is a little bit more on a sensitive side than usual.  I am on thin ice with it, becasue it  threatens to offend the readers, what with blood and gory bits, but  life is not a teletubbies land,  so  I am not  so kind as to  conform to the readers' expectations here.   Naruto is a good manga, but they omitted many  life-aspects from it,  if they weren't  shinobi related.  Well, here's to  correcting that eyesight.  /mocking smile/.

Another beta,  Paxloria,   offered her services  for  beta-ing  Fire And Ice -  I already have half of  the chapter done, but   it will be prone to revising at least once,  for  I think I  lost  a sight on where the story  is going, and  one kind reviewer forced me to  revise and explain  my reasoning  to  her, which clarified my thoughts on  the interactions of characters, but amusingly enough,  I haven't got  a reply back.  Antares is a hard character to work with, because on one side, I ant to bash everyone for him, but on the other,  I want to make him merciful, which is an interesting conundrum to  balance.  We'll see how it goes.

Sewarea is a newbie on the scene,  and  I hope we will work well together,  but so far, she had sent me  the chapter for Reach For The Sky in a completely unrecognizable formatting that is making me scratch my  head   with confusion. Tomorrow, I will attempt to get  the program that will open the  document, and then we will see.

I am a little bit disgruntled that I am so dependent on  betas, but  I have to admit,   with chapters as long as they are, even I can lose sight of the mistakes, be that grammar or  spelling ones.  MHB  was a godsend in that regard, and I miss her,  but  still, I wish her all the best.

Also got into  writing original fiction,  and despite of being rejected  from the  publishing company,  I am still going strong.   I am  officially rewriting Shoes To Marry For to my satisfaction -   it seems that I don't agree with  word-imposed limits, so I am all  on my own in this one. Still, having fun, and that's the most important bit here.

Last project to write was for Rose of Versailles,  and I got it together in two days,  because inspiration stuck.  I believe that I spent the last day of the  year 2015  writing like possessed -  managed to chip off a keyboard's key, while I was at that -  and  finished   writing at 3.30 in the morning.   If the old adage, what are you  doing at the  first day of New Year any indication, I think I have a pretty good idea where my  days will be spent for a foreseeable future.

I am obsessing over writing, that's for certain.  Much to the disgruntlement of both my mum and brother,  and for that reason, I am not very happy camper when I am interrupted to go out walking with a certain furry ball of ours, even if  sometimes my  head does need some  pause to get thoughts in order.