Happy Birthday to me... or was that I?

March 23rd. Once again, the Earth rolled around enough to come back onto the point where I was born some years ago -  not telling how many, that would be rude, as some would think I am bragging, and some would think I am undermining my age, so... No.

I have to admit, this was one of the best birthdays I've ever had -  and that can be attributed solely to my family.  I know I've had my share of tiffs with them,  and they  constantly  try to make my hair grey with their pouting over each other, but this day, I  really felt that I was loved and appreciated as I am.

The gifts were simple -  small potted flower, orange bed covers and a small cake with delicious lunch from my parents, and then shock!  I never thought -  for all the tiffs I've had with my brother that he would completely, totally and utterly floor me with a cake and a small figurine of a computer on it!  Well -  not exactly small,  but what amused me the most, was that the cake figurine had my FF page written on and how many stories I've written up till now.   I didn't know whether to laugh, be mortified or be totally amused by my brother's ... total acceptance of my strange hobby of writings galore.  We've talked about it last week, but I never, ever dreamed that he would do something so... off the wall for me. I think he had ruined any later cake-books for me. /laughs, delighted/

I am not the easiest person to get along with, especially because of my hobbies and single-mindedness when it concerns books, reading or writing, but I am happy and grateful that I am accepted as I am.

Even if  the second gift was one  enormous monster of a book by George R.R. Martin,  Dance with Dragons.  In English, of all languages. /amused, and a little bit miffed/   It's a fifth part of the monster story of Game of Thrones, so I don't have any excuse not to read it anymore /a little bit helpless on the issue/. If I've read Lord of the Rings,  then  my excuse that this book is too long is  completely invalid /wry smile/. Added bonus -  at least for him -  is that   reading of this monster would take  me a long way from computer.

Caring is not an advantage

Yes, I am borrowing that overly pretentious quote of BBC Sherlock's.

My family life is not exactly ideal, and I  am now torn on who is right and who is wrong ont eh issues that plague us.

My father is an alcoholic.  My mother is overly controlling. Both whine a lot when something doesn't go  their way.  My brother outright avoids the work at home  because he doesn't do well with their  whining, and so, half of the brunt of the work falls on my  shoulders,  be that knowingly or not.

Both of the parents are already elderly -  well, mid-elderly if I should term it right, and they have a plethora of health issues to boot.  Most prominent, of course, are mum's issues, what with Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), backaches from that car accident what... seventeen years ago, weak joints and of course her over-sensitivity on cold. Father is, as I said, an alcoholic and  has problem with prostate -  he  went through his first operation this year, and now  recuperating at home. Thankfully, both of them are mobile.  Both of them don't speak with each other, except when there are money matters or there's something to be done at home in  a work sense.

Brother already has job and   he is on an equally bad terms with both father and mother, who regulate their 'complaints' via me or try to get them into his thick skull when he comes to discuss something.  /head meets desk/.  He doesn't  really work at home, because he is overly prideful and sensitive to criticism that had  been issued his way in the past, which pisses me off, because then most of the heavy jobs got delegated on me. Heavy jobs as in shoveling the dirt in the garden,  taking care of the fields, mainly by pulling the weeds here, planting potatoes,  taking care of potatoes, weeding the field. Let's not even mention the kitchen duty, hanging the washed clothes and ironing them when they dry out and taking care of the general cleanliness of the house, not to mention dish-washing duties at morning, after lunch and at evening. And of course, shoveling the chicken shit -  literally. The only  job I am more or less exempt for it picking the apples directly  from the trees (my balance is  not up to the par to play she-Tarzan, so I am picking them off the ground), shoveling the snow and handling any heavy and sharp machinery with exception of kitchen apparatus and hoover. Mother handles planting the garden -  more or less,  not the onions though - and picking apples off the trees, and making jams and conserving the vegetables along with storing both meat and vegetables, and father handles preparation of the logs, along with taking care of the small vineyard, random repairs around the house

I am still waiting on the response of the committee for disabled  for my work permit, and hopefully, I will get it before my birthday to get going. /pinches the bridge of the nose, irritated/. It won't solve all of the problems because mother is still trying to rope me into working at the fields, garden and at the house, but brother told me that I should place a vivid border  to where I am willing to go and not further.  it made me think that maybe I am too soft with her -  fetching her this and that and doing things for her. Brother also told me that she also uses me to solve her problems for her  when concerning computer, as she doesn't even try to  find a solution first before running to me to repair the latest mishap she got on her laptop.  /Sweatdrops/. And all the while,  when I point her out that  she could just as easily get the answers from the 'net,  she begins to complain that she is so busy, doesn't have time, et cetera.  I seriously wonder  about her technological knowledge at the rate she is  going  - sure, I also mooched off my brother's tech know-how the first few years when we got  our first computer, but  since he told me to search for the knowledge in question by myself, I am working out and repairing the laptop kinks all by myself.  She has the formal education in some 40-60 hours of  workshop, which should be a good basis for her to  do things alone, but  the first year had been sometimes borderline painful and  exercise in patience when I had been teaching her the basics of the basics of the laptop's  ins and outs.  Even now, she only knows Skype, Windows Media Player, basics of Facebook and basics of Gmail.  Download  of the pictures form the photo machine still eludes her -  that, or she is simply too tired or too lazy to get it figured out and committed to memory by herself.   She complains that I have the unfair advantage of being younger  and more  involved with computers overall, and  her  brains are  sometimes feeling like Swiss cheese  because of the concussions she got in her youth, along with her age.   Still, it pisses me off, because she took her sweet time to learn how to navigate chess site,  while  she  downright forgot some other  important basics.   Maybe I am being unfair,  as my  knowledge is quite extensive on the know-how of the importing and uploading the documents (as a writer, it's a prerequisite knowledge anyway,), while  my handling of  Excel could still improve more. (Word too, even if I am a solid user of the  program).  But she is wrong on the issue of how long  what did it take me to learn the whole shebang.  Most  of what I know is actually self-learned, either by trial and error or by the help of internet sources,  and maybe I am not doing her any favors with spoon-feeding knowledge I've gained  over the years in the half an hour she usually whines about her troubles with her laptop. What is for me completely clear as a day to me,  may be  the darkest of nights for  her, so to speak.

This week,  I've listened, and  come to the conclusion  my parents are complaining too  much.  Sometimes, there are small issues, sometimes  there are big ones,  but  it's done little to actually solve them.  They don't speak with each other -  if who, then brother and me  speak to each other, though  I am still of the opinion that  he cleverly  railroaded me off my attempts to include him into the housework to direct my ire at mother, and partially at father.  I don't know how to prove him that  mother is not lazy, loudmouthed and overly bossy and controlling woman like he pictures her in his mind, and  even less on how to prove that  father is actually alcoholic.   At least we solved the issue of mutual self-respect, because today we both went too far  - he accused me to be too violent, and I accused him to have no sense on where the fun ended and harassment began.  It took a good row,  some harsh words and pointing fingers at both the accused parties to resolve that, but I hope we are better now for it, though  I still don't like to argue and I am  wondering if my first response is really violence.

Is it really?  Well,  if  I got pissed off enough,  then yeah, I can and will use violence, though  I hope I will always know where the line is. But with the red fury I occasionally get -  today it was because my brother invaded my room and began teasing me with attempting to toy with my food while the dog was in my room -  this broke the camel's back and I punched him in the gut.  Not with the whole  force -  I  trained Karate, and by my standards,  the punch was quite mild, but he reacted with whacking the back of my head which exploded into the aforementioned argument. I also had the  whole episodes when I could've strangled his neck quite cheerfully sometimes int he past when he really, truly and completely pissed me off.  Luckily for both of us,  I got good enough self-restraint on my side. I am  proud to say I didn't cower and irritated that I cried.

Violence... Sometimes I was praised for it, and maybe I was a bully sometimes because of it.  Maybe my filter is loosened somewhat -  I have quite a fierce temper and when I was teased in the primary school, my answer was  violence.  Most of my schoolmates were amused at my reactions -  it was more or less all in a good fun, but  not to  the extent I would harm someone extensively and I never used martial arts.  Accidentally, once  one of my schoolmates bumped into an edge of the window's frame, but that was all.

I am sick of it.  Sick of my actions in the past -  sometimes I was a bully when I thought I was a protector.  I was an idiot then, but  I stopped when they asked.  This still doesn't make it right, and  maybe still doesn't reason  adequately that my first response, when someone goes too far  -  in this case my brother -  is violence.

I didn't trust the words, because  more or less, my brother ignored me, when I asked him to cease his teasing.  Thus, my next answer was a violence.  Wrong, yes, but it was then my till then long fuse was blown up. 

Nowadays, my temper is calmer, and I can usually calm down and rationalize before I get really pissed off.  I learned that being too hot of a temper I can hurt the adversaries, be that  verbally or via punching them.

I am confused. My family is a hodgepodge of good and bad decisions, tempers and characters. I don't know who to trust or even what to do to straighten their crooked relationships to level where all of us could function more or less  normally. Sometimes, I am feeling guilt about it, and also a helpless anger because. They. Just. Don't. Go. Along!

I am not mediating between the three idiots anymore.  They will be speaking between themselves,  it's not worth headaches,  suppressed temper and lost time to listen to their whining.  Sherlock Holmes said it right -  'Caring is not an advantage',  but I am  adding this -
Too much caring is not an advantage. 

It poisons mind, heart and spirit, it's a sickness that masquerades  under the mask of goodness  and we were too conditioned to be good, even if only in the public.  I am sick of being good and proper and  sacrificing my mental health just to fake the facade of 'all is well' in front of everyone and their dog.  I can beat myself all I want for my past demeanor, but that won't change anything, except making me  even more depressed I already am. Today I thought of  taking the rest of the tablets -  very strong painkillers -  and finish everything.  Fuck them and their arguments and them loading the work on me and get my own peace. It's not the first  time I've thought of suicide, and it's not the last, either. I am fed up about caring about them, about their needs and demeaning my own just because it's a right thing to do. I can't fucking base my own self-worth on their opinions of me being a good daughter, sister or 'good person' overall.

What I can do, is to stand up for myself -  even against my mother. I love her, really, but she guilt-trips me and takes advantage of my helpful nature. I am not the only one at the house to work, and it may take some arguments and everything before the new balance would set in.  Really... wish me luck.  Because  going against the ones that know you the best - i.e. your family -  is not a quest to be taken lightly.

 

Exercise Woes

This. Is. Bullshit.

No, don't need you excusing me for cussing.  I am simply irritated with my training regime, or moreover with my habit of sticking it into the impossibly late hours and my  consequent  tiredness across the day.

Even if the January had begun fantastically -  I got a job interview and  I am slotted to do a probation period starting Monday,  my mind is all kind of wracked up with worries and 'what-if'  bad scenarios.  I am overthinking it as it is -  I am just a trainee, for a God's sake, but I am worrying as if I were dropped into a hot water of being CEO of a sinking ship, so to speak.  Friday this week I returned home all kid of burned out  from the subsequent work-meeting  where I received the details of the work, and  I crash-landed straight onto bed -  no wonder,  regarding I was up to some 1 in the morning with worries and my late-night reading.

Getting up at 7,  going at 8, meeting at 9,  then waiting to 11.30 for the drive back and  finally getting home at some 13.30. Thankfully,  sleep restored some of my energy, but later in the evening, I was beset by a monster of a headache that haunted me through the workout.   It faded about  midnight, was up to half past midnight,  and then went snoozing.

Next morning, I was good,   but I noticed I began losing my energy in the early afternoon again. Maybe  becasue I got into the sweets binge before the lunch - I felt bad, so I kinda  thought something sweet would pick me up,  massacred a handful of homemade biscuits and then had pasta with bean and onion salad with a chili spiced dip. And  my  freaking feelings got into a nosedive again.

I know I am worrying too much.  I am worrying about worrying about worrying, in fact, and that  got me into a binge eating today. I practically dragged myself through my portion of exercising -  yes, both of the parts -  but  I did it.   Sometimes I thought why the fuck I am even going through it, when it kinda doesn't show visibly yet. A waste of my time  of  just my self image  as a forever  chubby kid? /rubs the bridge of nose, irritated/

I don't know.  I don't know how I will be juggling my responsibilities as a probie, as a part of the family and how  I would manage the me time, both the exercising and writing, and don't get me even started on a social life! /frazzled/

I started the exercise regime because  I  knew  that  being in batter body shape will also  help me with the shape of my mind -  clearer and better thinking,  having more energy,  etc,  which is practically required for work, 8 hours per day.  Exercising part goes well -  well,  Tibetan exercises are sometimes a murder on my body,   HHA  is a little bit dull now when I got into the rhythm, and  I somehow  both detest and like them -  detest them because  I don't accept excuse to skip them, and like them,  because they   do my body good, even if  visibility is not -  well, visible yet. I am my own  referee on that one,  and  at this point, I am sometimes tempted to throw the towel into the ring, so to speak, and only my freaking pledge is holding me back from it.

Right.  No excuses now, gonna go write the rest of those snippets before hitting the snooze.

Oww owww owwww...

My freaking ribs hurt!

When I got into that  kind of commitment, I didn't  expect that my ribs would be the ones to pay the price, so to speak.

Behind me,   I have  two days of  exercise I self-prescribed to myself. And  what do you know,  it works.  Somehow -  just not in the sense  I imagined it would -  well,  this last one is a lie, I knew perfectly well what I was heading myself into  when I  chose those two, but  still, no amount of knowledge  prepares you for the pain that follows.

I began with Hip Hop Abs, and I am in a reasonably good shape.  So  the next morning, when I began with Tibetan exercises,   I was unpleasantly surprised that my core muscles outright rebelled  when I was holding the 'candle' position.   Urgh.

So today, I was understandably apprehensive,  if the core would rebel again -  I  did get my body through HHA last evening, but to my surprise, this time the  pain culprit wasn't the core, but the ribs -  or, if you are die-hard Latin geek, serratus anterior and latissimus dorsi.  Those two are uncomfortably sore, but on the other  side, my posture is  a little bit  better.

I have to admit, I dread the evening this  time, because it will be Ab Sculpt part of the  HHA,  and I know for a fact  my stomach muscles will be crying for mercy  -  if not  today, then tomorrow. Well, I will have to deal with it when it comes, so no point in dithering. 

Banzai!

Windows 7 uploading shenanigans

More or less of a footnote from the last year regarding Win7 and  the  installation process

So, it was the time  that my hard disk in the laptop was almost full again, and what do you know,  the freaking thing  was bloated despite me moving the files to my outer disk.   I have to admit, JARVIS as I named the 1TB  Western Digital disk, was one of the best investments from the last year, becasue otherwise, I would be one very sorry writer right now.

We writers, by definitions, are pack rats,   so my disk was chock-full of the text,  pictures and whatnot, and in a dire need of good old reformatting and reuploading.

Thing is, I haven't had a clue on how to do the  freaking thing, as up until now,  the go-to person for this was my  brother. Sad, sad world.  And I considered myself  tech-savvy.  /ashamed shake of head./

So, I've done  several things.

1 -  Did the  list of programs I used  on the soon-to-be croaked-OS and saved it on my outer disk Jarvis -  from here on, called J -

2 - Did the backup of the licenses used.  Believe me, this is dead useful to have, otherwise you are stuck in a deep, deep shit and  the entire  installation/uploading shtick can take  two or three days

3 - Did the same  for the wireless data. I am impressed,  the  Microsoft techies  saved me a plethora of a headache and brother-begging with that  particular feature.

4 - Rooted around my CD and DVD's  for the installation disk

5 - Read and  wrote/copied the instructions on how to do the entire thing.

The result?

OS (operation system, aka Windows 7)  done and spiffed up in the same day, with no  help from brother dearest, aside from his nagging for me  to take the furball on a walk. I swear, I could've strangled the  bastard for that idiocy of his.   I  dislike being interrupted when I work, and  he  did just that.

Windows 7 was successfully installed -   there was some trouble with booting the entire thing I I experienced the moment of enlightenment  when the program practically pointed out that MB is less than GB -  fuck it, I never paid enough attention to those prefixes when in Physics class, but never mind, I got by without knowing that.  Formatted both plates,  and then,  ran the whole thing. 

I use around 11 programs, and  the list helped me to keep on track what I need, so the  uploading of the programs went fast from here on. I still remember the horror days when   I and my brother had to get 2 whole days  to  get  the  now prehistoric XP working on the  main computer.  I am so grateful for the SSD disk and  the better  uploading routines that it's not even funny.

But the  disk in question nearly ganked me into an early grave with  the  amount of space it  gobbled up. Usually,  that wouldn't have been a problem, but  SSD is still relatively small in comparison with their  older brothers, so the space is  real  problem   if you  have  heap-loads of data.  It doesn't help that  the computer  has to be updated, and updates  for Windows and Office can really  gobble up the space.

I solved that with wiping out the personal data on the computer,  and  leaving on the SSD only the OS and some  bits and ends that  I don't  need  at all times.  So  right now,   the programs take  a little bit more than 33 GB, with  additional compressing of the files already on.  This leaves 25,2 GB  of freedom for the  next... say,  two or three years.  Depends on the tech.

Tip:

It's good to have   two things when you are doing that.  Or better,  two programs.  One of those is Driver Booster.    This little program,  especially pro edition, is dead useful when it comes to updating the host of the other programs on the OS. I am not  a fan of manual updating of the things  as they can take a good  amount of time that could be spent -  at least for me -  reading - so when I found this one, it was a godsend.


Second one is TreeSize  Free.  It  shows  where  your system  got too fat, so to speak, and then you can go to the why's and how's on slimming those files down.  But   do be careful with that  process, so that you don't do any oopsies with deleting something vitally important to the system. So double and triple checking is more than advisable in this case.


... that  brother of mine  just said I remind him of a popcorn.   Heat it enough, and it explodes.  Gee, what a charmer.... /deadpans/   Popcorn, of all things....

stickK To It - 1st New Years Resolution

Alright, enough is enough.

Today, I  weighed myself and to my horrified fascination, my  weight had upended from all those  holiday puddings, biscuits and whatnot.  In fact,  both me and my  mum were appaled with our weight, and of course, she wanted a regime.

As for myself, I  made a plan, both  in paperback and electronic format, and  I intend to stickK to it.   Pun intended? You betcha.

To  put it bluntly, I  am overweight.  Didn't help that I underwent another operation -  this time  for chest -  and my exercise regimen  at the time was rudely interrupted and later on, I've  had many  laziness to excuse me from  getting down and  dirty, so to speak.

But this year, I intend to  change that for the better.   My plan, in short is -

 -  change eating habits,  so less sweets and cereal-based foods, more veggies and fishies along with meat in,

 - more water and unsweetened  drinks -  I am drinking way  too little for my comfort

 - exercise daily,  so my resolution is sticking to Hip Hop Abs, and  finally  finishing the  dratted program in one go. Last time, I stopped at the  third week, this time, I wanna  end it.  Amen.

 -  and exercise some more, whether  by walking  furball, doing the work around the house or anything else.

So I found the platform on the 'net,  basically that gives you support base, while  holding you up to your goal.  If you are sticking to it,  then one of the  things that can make you better, is stickK, because  there can be monetary  punishments if you fail the  project -  the thing is, monetary punishments you yourself piled  by the way on laziness.   I am doing this without the money added in, but I do have a money punishment  set on myself -  for each abandoned session,  there goes 5 euros.  It doesn't seem much, but for me, it's a good incentive to get off of my butt and get movin' like my life depends on it. My  moneybag certainly does!

This is my year long project, and hopefully  when the year turns around, I will be healthier, fitter and overall have more energy.

My worry is how in the freaking hell I will get all I intend to do in 24 hours I have allotted in the day, but as said, procrastination will have to go, one way or another. I intend to add the resolutions one after another, so I will have time to get to everything  I  deem important at the time.

On the writing side -  I  ceased waiting on beta. Yes, it rankles me something fierce that  she  hadn't sent me the corrected doc back when I requested, but  it can't be helped.  On the other side, another beta in waiting, but I am skeptical of that one, because  their review was not spelling-correct, though  their grammar  and spelling in their own works was good. I will have to inquire on why's that. As it is, Among The Hawks And Doves is one, I still have to  edit it for AO3, along with  uploading last three chapters for Who We Are on the same site. Hopefully  they  solved the trouble with separators.

I will have to get out the replacement keyboard for the longer typing  as that  darned key  I chipped off is  chipped off and if I press on the key the wrong way, it's chipped off again! I would glue it back with the hot glue, but  I worry what would happen to electronics then. So,   replacement keyboard.  I am peeved as the keyboard clicks a lot,  so I will have to see what I can do  in regards to that,  but otherwise... well, don't forget the batteries /wry/. 

It seem this will be the motto of this year...

Another Day Another Year

One year has passed since I've  updated this little blog of mine.   Now,  we are   nearing the end of the first day  in year 2016,  so I thought it prudent to write out  the happenings and reasons for my  longer than normal absence from blogging.

Year 2015 was  in some ways  a hard year -  from me  going under the scalpel once again,  to  mum and father losing their brothers  and  near family to  death.   Miya had grown up some, if you care to remember the doggy  furball I was  ranting about some posts back -  she successfully  passed the second obedience exam  along with both first and second sniffling exam. Mum even participated with her in a national sniffling competition!

As for me, I don't know  whether I've  grown some.  The last year was taxing on my patience what with me having to listen to  brother's "poor Miya" laments while being pissed off that he didn't  keep his promise to  take her out on the walk  at weekends.  I  sometimes  still hold a grudge  for that one. 

I still haven't gotten a job, but  I think I've improved in writing the job applications, along with making a good leap in  going to job fairs.  They are exhausting and disheartening, but  every time I learn something new.   I learned to stand up for myself when talking about what I want  to do  for a job,  so  I have now  defined wants and lines  to where I want to go,  I will have to brush up my skills for my trial working period soon -  I just hope  it will  go well with the skill set I have.  I am a little bit nervous about it, but  let's hope it will go  smoothly.

On writing front, this is the first  year since  acquiring the contract job for  being freelance writer for some  internet page.  It's slow going,  but   at least I can express my thoughts there, though it irks me that  I still haven't got enough traffic to be  considered for  payment.

Fanfiction writing,   I've posted  at least three works -  updated Reach For The Sky,  along with  finishing  Scrapbook Jewels - even if I still get the ideas, I've  closed this particular compendium down,   to  help me concentrate  on advancing and consequently  finishing the already existing  works, like  Among The Hawks And Doves, Fire And Ice and  Crimson Sagittarius.

Last updated works aside  Reach For The Sky was Stray Notes - QUARTET NIGHT. I've explored that fandom quite thoroughly what with me watching and re-watching the episodes and I really couldn't help myself but be amused with QN's jealously issues,  so  this  four-part fic came into being, and later on gifted to Zara who was the reason for me to even getting into writing in this particular fandom.

The largest piece of writing   this year, aside from some of  my  more technically minded projects, was  Who We Are,  a Fate Zero/HP crossover.   I believe I've munched on this one  for  a year,  both because of the difficulty of characters and  story-wise, I  had to  make  biggest number of scene rewrites up until now.  There went a perfectly good notebook /mournful/.   I  am grateful  I got an excellent beta, Luna13 who helped me to  edit this monstrosity both on the French and English side. I hope  the  following year will be fortuitous to her.

Among The Hawks And Doves  is already written and (presumably?) in beta-reading I am concerned, because my new beta  haven't replied back to me yet.   MHB is not on the radar anymore,   for at least a year already, so I've sought out another one. mist_el is  similarly  preoccupied, which worries me,  because she already  passed the  deadline twice - I've sent her the document after Christmas, and I expected to get in back  in 4 days tops.  No such luck, so  I am self-beta-ing again,  which is pissing me off,   because it delays the posting the chapters.   it doesn't help the  chapter in  question is 10k long and the theme is a little bit more on a sensitive side than usual.  I am on thin ice with it, becasue it  threatens to offend the readers, what with blood and gory bits, but  life is not a teletubbies land,  so  I am not  so kind as to  conform to the readers' expectations here.   Naruto is a good manga, but they omitted many  life-aspects from it,  if they weren't  shinobi related.  Well, here's to  correcting that eyesight.  /mocking smile/.

Another beta,  Paxloria,   offered her services  for  beta-ing  Fire And Ice -  I already have half of  the chapter done, but   it will be prone to revising at least once,  for  I think I  lost  a sight on where the story  is going, and  one kind reviewer forced me to  revise and explain  my reasoning  to  her, which clarified my thoughts on  the interactions of characters, but amusingly enough,  I haven't got  a reply back.  Antares is a hard character to work with, because on one side, I ant to bash everyone for him, but on the other,  I want to make him merciful, which is an interesting conundrum to  balance.  We'll see how it goes.

Sewarea is a newbie on the scene,  and  I hope we will work well together,  but so far, she had sent me  the chapter for Reach For The Sky in a completely unrecognizable formatting that is making me scratch my  head   with confusion. Tomorrow, I will attempt to get  the program that will open the  document, and then we will see.

I am a little bit disgruntled that I am so dependent on  betas, but  I have to admit,   with chapters as long as they are, even I can lose sight of the mistakes, be that grammar or  spelling ones.  MHB  was a godsend in that regard, and I miss her,  but  still, I wish her all the best.

Also got into  writing original fiction,  and despite of being rejected  from the  publishing company,  I am still going strong.   I am  officially rewriting Shoes To Marry For to my satisfaction -   it seems that I don't agree with  word-imposed limits, so I am all  on my own in this one. Still, having fun, and that's the most important bit here.

Last project to write was for Rose of Versailles,  and I got it together in two days,  because inspiration stuck.  I believe that I spent the last day of the  year 2015  writing like possessed -  managed to chip off a keyboard's key, while I was at that -  and  finished   writing at 3.30 in the morning.   If the old adage, what are you  doing at the  first day of New Year any indication, I think I have a pretty good idea where my  days will be spent for a foreseeable future.

I am obsessing over writing, that's for certain.  Much to the disgruntlement of both my mum and brother,  and for that reason, I am not very happy camper when I am interrupted to go out walking with a certain furry ball of ours, even if  sometimes my  head does need some  pause to get thoughts in order.