I am here, on the crossroads again, feeling as if I've lost something, and gained little. The five years of college, studying kinds of Math I really didn't want to - sure, they were interesting, but I abhorred the tests and exams - writing reports, gathering info, and learning something... new and now I am feeling strangely bereft and just not like I imagined I would after finishing the college. Was it even worth it? i don't know. On the one hand, when i am reading requirements for the jobs, I don't feel nearly as prepared as I had though I would have after finishing the college - I don't think I would have felt prepared even if I had done it with Magna Cum Laude to boot /sour growl/, but that's the reality. And honestly speaking, it sucks.
Majorly.
I feel even more burned because my presentation and the work itself didn't get the highest degrees available - but in retrospective, I did kind of bungled up the presentation - but come on, telling everything in research in measly ten minutes? Are they bonkers or what?! /incensed growl/. Hells to no. I am feeling a little averted from continuing studying, because as much as I am tempted to add the MA title, I am seriously wondering if it's even worth it. You learn, you're tested, you got graded, and then you have a paper that you can do this and that. /miffed/. I am proud that I did my thesis well - for me, it was two years of work, with both successes and pitfalls - I am wondering what would they say if they had known how much work had gone in those 140 pages - nearly getting a heart attack when I found out that part of my questionnaires - a very important one - was missing, missing the thesis because the laptop decided to be stubborn and missing chapters /exasperated groan/, and let's not even mention the massive amount of translating, checking the resources and compiling the whole shebang so that it was a good fit with everything. Honestly, I wanted to howl with injustice. Yup, still fuming a little over this. And part of me balking over the possible continuation of the study is the required writing of new thesis. No, thank you oh so very much. I've had it, and for now, I don't even want to do any kind of serious research. My brain was fried with all the data I've gone through. But on the other side, I know more about RFID than anyone aside the engineers that actively work with this kind of tech. /grouses/ Fuck it, I knew I should've stuck through with my first college, despite the OSL shit they were putting us through.
Now I am here, on the verge of the job search and still with some regret burning at the back of my skull. Whoever said that completing college was an ecstatic experience, didn't have a freaking clue. However, there's not many engineers - especially deaf ones, so I suppose I should be a lil' bit proud of myself.
Sooo... What did I learn in those college years?
Plus side:
- I became more independent
- I learned to read bus chart (needs must, and all that)
- I learned to navigate through the city
- Got used to travel via rail and bus
- Learned to do the project documentation (scary shit, but hafta do it anyway)
- Found out that I enjoy writing
- Got addicted to spicy food (Ramen! And Pizza!!!)
- If you are really needing a kick, then T-400 is the right choice (the darn thing caffeinates you up to your gills and over)
- College parties are something else
- Happily discovered the word of manga
- Learned to work with computer and it's programs
Minus side:
- Money has to be used sparingly
- Knowing when the bus comes doesn't always mean you will also catch it ( winter is a bitch),
- Winter is a bitch times two - no, times infinity. Still hate iced roads
- Roomates can be right bitches
- When you have a good idea for story, then you are called for outside work, and you don't get chance to complain (living on a countryside is not a piece of heaven)
- Waking up early is someone's preferred torture method (Not. Me. I am the victim here, ya hear!) Drinking the T-400 the night before just compounds the torture
- Night owl. Me . 'Nuff said.
- Math in all shapes sucks
- Grammar also sucks
- OSL sucks the worst. Honestly, the only torture worse than this is Latin.
- Still gotta learn. And learn... and learn. It never ends!!!! /howl/
Overall, feeling better after getting that rant out of my growly, grumpy little soul.
Signing off,
Eirenei
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